I have had some interesting people ‘hit’ on me in the past three weeks. Lets just say that I am working a very wide age range here. First, about three weeks ago, I was up at Sasha’s which is where I can typically be found on a Friday or Saturday night so that I can actually see my friend Jamie. I do go up there often by myself as I do not mind. DJ, one of the bartenders, was not working that evening and he and a friend were sitting at the bar. We were all interacting and his friend and I were quite chatty. Well, that is, until I found out how old they are. 22, Strike One. Now, typically age does not bother me however, there is a major difference between a 25 year old man and a 28 year old woman vs a 22 year old man and a 25 year old woman. There is a maturity level difference as well as we are definitely at different places in our lives. They are hopefully in college and I am working. I am not a babysitter nor am I a person that will help you with your homework. So, graduate from college, work for two years then give me a call. Moving on.
New Years Eve 2008. After I got home from work at 4:15pm I was putting the trash cans back behind the house while doing my usual of smoking a cig. A man who I presume to live in the house next door walks over to talk to me. He introduces himself and I introduce myself in polite fashion. He asked which apartment I live in and I jokingly say, “The apartment you tried to break into.” (Sidebar: I was out of town one weekend and the girl who lives above me walked into our entryway and saw a man putting a key into my lock. Obviously it didn’t fit. When she asked him what he was doing he said he was moving in, introduced himself yada yada. She proceeded to tell him that she was fairly certain he was not moving in as someone already lived there. He was embarrassed and quickly realized he had walked into the wrong house.) He apologized which I said it was not a big deal because truthfully it was not. I am sure that he would have been slightly confused had he actually gotten into my apartment. Before he heads back over to his house he asks if I want his phone number because he thinks we are about the same age. When he tells me his age I am so dumbfounded that he could possibly think we are the same age that I can not speak. He is 41….STRIKE TWO. When he asked how old I was and I responded he says ‘wow you are so young.’ I wanted to say, “Exactly how old did you think I was, again?” He kept pushing the phone number matter and I just really don’t think I have business dating a man that is 16 years older than me UNLESS he is a sugar daddy for awhile. Ladies, you know what I am talking about. However, I don’t think I could be that shallow.
So, this past Saturday I left my parents and headed up to Sasha’s to see if Jamie wanted to go shopping with me on Sunday. She poured me a glass of red and I sat to finish it by my lonesome. Every time someone walked by the bar I got a wiff of cologne. It smelled good. Any man that cares about their scent is ok in my book….provided they fall into my age range. There was a guy sitting two seats down from me and I figured it was his cologne that I kept smelling. I politely approached him and asked if he was wearing cologne. He said yes and I proceeded to compliment him and ask him what it was. Long story short we had a conversation that ended with him asking if he could call me sometime to take me out. I thought, how nice. This is a nice guy who looks to be about the same age, seemed very mature and aware blah blah blah. I gave him my phone number and he gave me his because he wanted me to know who was calling. Again, courteous. Then he asked me how old I was. I told him and, though hesitant, I asked him how old he was. 22….Strike Three and I already gave him my phone number and you can’t ask for that shit back. Damnit! So, he called me yesterday (he has four strikes on his own by the way..22 marks strike one) to see what my schedule is like this week and wants to know if I want to go see a movie….Strike Two. You do not ask a girl to go see a movie as a first date. YOU DON’T! He mentioned something about his birthday being on the 23rd of January. I commented, “Oh the big 23.” He said, “Actually no.” I said, “Oh my god, you are only 21.” STRIKE THREE! He said yes and then proceeded to tell me how age doesn’t matter if two people have something in common blah blah blah. I then have the nerve to ask him if he lives with his parents. He said, “Only until February.” Ok, strike FOUR! No, no, no. Again, I am not a babysitter. I have no desire to meet your parents quickly and I certainly will not spend the night over there…..EVER! There will be no making out on your parents sofa or sodas with twisty straws.
I ask you, how does this happen? I would say that the third time is a charm but I am hoping that if someone hits on me this week that they should be in my age range. Seriously.
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