‘You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face…The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it…You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.’
-Eleanor Roosevelt-
I went to the doctor, yet again, yesterday. This time it was for something completely different, though I did learn I have an ear infection in both ears, odd. The time has come to stop smoking people. Yes, that is right. I have said and tried it before but it is time to get serious. My doctor set the date of me paying her a visit to discuss this extreme challenge. I was given a list of things to do. I have some vitamins that I have to pick up, I have my eardrops and my Chantix I have to pick up and I have a book that I have to pick up and get most of the way through before I set my actual stop date and then I have to purchase my final pack of cigarettes.
I need support. I need people to understand that this is not going to be easy for me. I need people to understand that, yes, it is an emotional process. It is like breaking up with your best friend who has literally been there whenever you needed them. I know I can do it. I know that there are times that I will be weak. I know there are times that I am going to be angry. I am stopping THE number one most addicting substance in the world. I am doing this for my health, my brain, my lungs, my heart and myself. I can’t do it on my own, I admitted that I needed help and I hope that help will be in the Chantix, vitamins and book.
I receive positive quotes via e-mail every day. I received the quote above today. I felt that it was the perfect quote for me. When my doctor asked me if I was ready I looked away and said yes. She asked if I was serious, which I am BUT I am scared. I really am scared. I am scared that I will break down and smoke, I am scared because the vast majority of my friends smoke and I am SUPER scared that I am going to gain 400 pounds in which case I will probably start smoking again. I think it is ok to be scared, right? I know there is massive pay off and I will definitely have more money.
Please understand that if I am on the edge it isn’t you. It is my body and my mind trying to overcome my addiction that I have had for far too long. Please support me in my choice. Please give me words of encouragement when I am enraged. Please shake me if I am being irrational. And please punch me if I am getting ready to dig myself a grave in which to jump into.
Here’s to a healthier me in the next two weeks or so.
Whoo.
I went to the doctor, yet again, yesterday. This time it was for something completely different, though I did learn I have an ear infection in both ears, odd. The time has come to stop smoking people. Yes, that is right. I have said and tried it before but it is time to get serious. My doctor set the date of me paying her a visit to discuss this extreme challenge. I was given a list of things to do. I have some vitamins that I have to pick up, I have my eardrops and my Chantix I have to pick up and I have a book that I have to pick up and get most of the way through before I set my actual stop date and then I have to purchase my final pack of cigarettes.
I need support. I need people to understand that this is not going to be easy for me. I need people to understand that, yes, it is an emotional process. It is like breaking up with your best friend who has literally been there whenever you needed them. I know I can do it. I know that there are times that I will be weak. I know there are times that I am going to be angry. I am stopping THE number one most addicting substance in the world. I am doing this for my health, my brain, my lungs, my heart and myself. I can’t do it on my own, I admitted that I needed help and I hope that help will be in the Chantix, vitamins and book.
I receive positive quotes via e-mail every day. I received the quote above today. I felt that it was the perfect quote for me. When my doctor asked me if I was ready I looked away and said yes. She asked if I was serious, which I am BUT I am scared. I really am scared. I am scared that I will break down and smoke, I am scared because the vast majority of my friends smoke and I am SUPER scared that I am going to gain 400 pounds in which case I will probably start smoking again. I think it is ok to be scared, right? I know there is massive pay off and I will definitely have more money.
Please understand that if I am on the edge it isn’t you. It is my body and my mind trying to overcome my addiction that I have had for far too long. Please support me in my choice. Please give me words of encouragement when I am enraged. Please shake me if I am being irrational. And please punch me if I am getting ready to dig myself a grave in which to jump into.
Here’s to a healthier me in the next two weeks or so.
Whoo.
Abbey D I am so proud of you.
ReplyDeleteI know that you have not kicked the cigs yet but the fact that you are going to makes me proud. You can do it. Just take it minute by minute. We all have a vice and this just happens to be yours. Mine is diet coke and food. I am slowly working on my issue as well. You will do this and if for some reason you have a weakness or a moment of relapse WE will all be here to cheer you on and help you back to your goal. You are a strong person and I know you can do it. Hang in there and know that we are praying for you. There are a lot of bonuses to kicking the habit...money, your health, and beautiful white teeth :) We love you, HIL, Kev, and Z