Snap Decisions

The simple act of reflecting, the simple act of pausing to consider, to reason, can have an impact. -Dalai Lama-


Making snap decisions can be dangerous. It can be compared to making an expensive impulse purchase that has a ‘no return’ policy. Recently, I made a snap decision however my snap decision was a direct reaction to someone else’s snap decision. At first I was super upset and then hurt turned into anger. What I believe to be a healthy anger, mind you.

I am angry because a snap decision was made in regards to me based on something out of my control. It always hurts when someone says that they would rather just be your friend, especially when a mutual attraction previously existed. Fine whatever. For some reason, that I am unable to explain, that hurt me more than it should. It has been known to happen that in my cynical fashion I would have said ‘bleep you and peace out’ but I didn’t want to. This person got to me and I hadn’t met anyone like him. I wasn’t expecting it and I wasn’t expecting for him to ‘get to me’ the way he did in such a short time of knowing him. I guess that happens sometimes.

I got worked up after speaking to a few of my friends last night. It wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before however I just got angry. Why would I consider jumping through 400 hoops for someone who A. wasn’t willing to talk to me about his issues and B. someone who was not willing to jump through 400 hoops for me? I have wasted too much time in my life on all of the wrong people for me. Why would I choose to continue that pattern? I deserve way better than that. I am better than that. I believe myself to be an awesome individual and I feel my head will still fit through door making that statement.

Everyone has a past and sometimes the past is a rocky one but it shapes you to be the person you are presently. I have become such a strong individual and more independent than I ever thought I could be. I know part of that has come with age but a big part of it comes from the experiences where you learn tough lessons. While the lessons might be hard to swallow at the time, some are necessary to help you understand who you want to be and where you want to go in your life. I chose to waste two full days of my life that I will never get back being upset about someone who didn’t seem to be upset about me. I must be a moron! I am not upset about the time I spent with this person because we had a lot of laughs and a lot of fun. I truly believe that his unwillingness to get to know ME will be his loss.

I have worked hard to get the toxic people out of my life and leave them out. I don’t need that and I don’t want that. Sometimes I am a bitch and sometimes I am too nice. This time, I was probably too nice. Now I am just going to let it lie and move on with my life. It is what it is and I can’t change it. And that, my friends, is that.

A huge weight has been lifted off of my brain power and my awesomeness.